Men Connecting: Understanding Whiteness
A 10-week online program for white men who are interested in understanding how whiteness moves in and through them, and who are seeking to become better antiracists.
GATHERINGS HELD ON ZOOM | NEW DATES TBD
AS WHITE MEN, WHEN WE DON’T KNOW HOW TO FIX SOMETHING, WE OFTEN DISENGAGE.
We may choose to see racism as “their struggle.”
For those of us in white bodies, anti-Black racism is too easy to turn away from. It can be tempting to believe it is ending with the conviction of Derek Chauvin or the election of Joe Biden. At the same time, the movement to end racism can feel relentless. Exasperated by what feels like an endless struggle, we may ask ourselves, “So, what do we do? How do we fix this?”
The truth is that we simply don’t have the practice doing life-long justice work in community, let alone the language or culture. White-male conditioning normalizes quick fixes, frameworks of separateness, and our comfort. (Sorry, fellas.)
The painful truth is that “their struggles” are up against systems designed to benefit white-bodied men (a useful term developed by Resmaa Menakem). It is critical to center Black, Indigenous, and People of Color (BIPOC) when discussing racism, but whiteness is the silent force we so often fail to acknowledge. This semi-conscious pattern can prevent us from seeing ourselves as others do, building trust, having honest dialogue, and joining the movement that fights daily for a more just world for everyone — including you.
““This program helped me open up in conversations about race and privilege. Where before i felt trepidation and anxiety around those conversations, i now feel comfort and heeling. It’s a wonderful program for any man, but especially those who frequently find themselves without the words to express their feelings on privilege, or those who are reckoning with it, but feel stuck. ””
IT IS NORMAL TO HAVE QUESTIONS AND TO BE AFRAID TO ASK THEM ALOUD.
We (two white-bodied cis male facilitators) have felt the complexity of being white men within justice work. The message to sit down, listen, and “read a book” may feel isolating and can bring about anxiety. There are voices such as Resmaa Menakem, author of My Grandmother’s Hands, that speak to the need for white-bodied folks to build culture around ending racism. Culture can only happen together over time, through dialogue, and in relationship.
We need spaces to disrupt our conditioning to “figure it out yourself.” We must create spaces to ask questions, build relationships, and receive supportive feedback without placing a burden on People of Color.
Without supportive, accountable relationships, white men can all too easily remain blind, misguided, and destined for burnout and complacency. We need one another, fellas.
This is our invitation to you. Joining this 10 week program is a jumpstart to culture-building, to lifelong organizing relationships, and into a self-reflective political education.
If you would like to talk for a few minutes before registering, please email us. We recognize 10 weeks is no small commitment so a bit of personal connection between us and a chance to ask a few questions could be an important part of your decision-making process.
GRATITUDE
We are grateful to our mentors, teachers, and friends at Holistic Resistance (Aaron Johnson, Porsha Beed, Dylan Wilder Quinn, and Jennie Pearl) — as well as some other anti-racist activists — for their feedback on the development of this program.
WHAT THIS IS FOR
Developing tools for sharing/listening
Self examination through questions
Creating community around anti-oppression work
Building capacity to be with shame
Identifying racism in the body
Learning how to take responsibility
Asking brave questions
Practicing unfiltered honesty over performance
Allowing emotion to come forward
Building life-long relationships (if you choose)
Learning how to take these conversations to others like yourself
WHAT THIS IS NOT FOR
Passive learning
Political debate
Continuing to try to ‘figure it out’ on your own
Being shamed or using shame as a weapon
Continuing to intellectualize these discussions
Blaming or othering
Fixing or ‘solutions’
Gossip or complaining
Reinforcing unhealthy masculinity
Perpetuating separateness
Maintaining the status quo
““This program was so unexpected and profound, in that it helped me engage in some deep introspection, exploration, and confrontation, in the safety and stewardship of a trusted group of other white men and guided by skilled, insightful, equally-struggling white men facilitators. My experience in this program started with anti-racism, but quickly began reaching into so many areas of my life. If you want to take your personal anti-racism work beyond plans or programs or sound-bites, or virtue signaling, then this is the place to start.”
~ Christian, Seattle, WA”
PROGRAM DETAILS:
Timing: 2 hours weekly | Dates TBD
Gatherings held virtually on Zoom (computer or tablet with a camera required)
Our meetings will include personal reflection as well as small and large group discussion
We will use the body, as well as the heart and mind, to explore our experience around race
We will be joined for two sessions by Holistic Resistance co-founder Aaron Johnson, who will help take the group deeper into the conversations
An opportunity to connect 1:1 with other men in the program between sessions, with a framework offered to support connecting
Each participant will get one 1:1 coaching/exploration session with Greg or Whitney to support you in your journey
An optional Slack channel, as well as an email list to stay connected and support each other
The program is limited to nine men in order to foster greater trust, vulnerability and closeness
Upon completion of the program, you will be invited into a growing community of other white-bodied men in this work. This includes the option to participate in ongoing monthly conversations, to attend upcoming workshops, and to connect with other circles that are doing the work to dismantle racism.
INVESTMENT
It is important to us that men have access to this space. For that reason, we are offering this program on a sliding scale, asking you to make a contribution that is within reach for you, but that feels like an investment. The suggested range is between $500 and $1500 for the entire program. Those who can pay higher rates help make this program accessible for everyone and sustainable for us.
If the above range is out of reach for you, or you want to pay on an installment, please let us know. We mean it when we say we want you to have access to this program. Together, we will find a way to make it work. Please email us if you have any questions.
We will be contributing 20% of all contributions to support the work of Holistic Resistance, an African Heritage-led organization that does anti-oppression facilitation and coaching. Their work includes workshops and programs designed to engage us all in reaching for one another. Additionally, they work with young Black men and women to support them in their personal and collective healing. You can learn more here.
WHY CENTER MEN?
As men, we are conditioned to go it alone. One of the most profound ways we have found to break this pattern is in a circle of men – asking for and receiving support. There is a deep healing that can take place in these spaces. While we need to do our work in mixed spaces, having a space where we can explore the complexities we feel in our day-to-day lives is important to support us in getting “on the other side” of the questions, concerns, and fears in our minds and hearts. This program is open to anyone who identifies as a man
WHY CENTER WHITENESS?
When whiteness is centered, it is generally done unconsciously, and in ways that are oppressive and cause harm. However, in order to begin to work with whiteness, we must understand it. For this reason, we consciously center whiteness in order to disrupt and dismantle it. This doesn’t mean centering white people, rather it means focusing on the elements of white supremacy culture that keep oppressive structures in place, and how they play out in our lives. (Note: This language on centering whiteness is heavily influenced by the invitation we received from the hosts of Wake Up Seattle, who include queer women and non-binary folks)
ABOUT THE FACILITATORS
Facilitator: Gregory Flynn (he/him) created Men Connecting: Understanding Whiteness in the fall of 2020. I work as a coach, facilitator, and supporter of humans. While I have had a deep commitment to social justice for most of my life, I began to realize that I had a lot to learn when it came to race and racism about three years ago. Since then, I have done workshops and programs (including with Anna-Brown Griswold, Reverend angel Kyodo williams, Robin DiAngelo, and Holistic Resistance), read voraciously in order to better understand how whiteness lives in me, and joined community (Wake Up Seattle) to be in ongoing relationship around ending racism. It is important to me to be in accountability in my anti-racism work. To that end, I continue to work with the excellent folks at Holistic Resistance (HR) to learn about how whiteness lives in me and where my blind spots are. In February, 2021, I completed the six-month facilitation held by Holistic Resistance. In addition, I am in direct communication with them around this program so as to maintain my accountability. If you want to learn more about my other work, check out my bio here.
Guest Co-Facilitator: Aaron Johnson is an earth builder, teacher of closeness, and activist. He graduated from the California Institute of the Arts in 2007 with a Bachelor of Fine Arts. He has made a lifelong commitment to use the skills he possesses to end racism. In addition to using intimacy and closeness to blackness as a primary means to that end, the tools he frequently uses are speaking, teaching, singing, photography, filmmaking, and minimalism. Aaron leads a mentoring program called Turn It Up Now that focuses on elevating the power, talent, love, and work ethic of youth. He believes that deep connection is one of the most powerful tools one can use in dismantling racism. You can learn more about Aaron’s work with Holistic Resistance here.
Men, regardless of what we’ve been taught, we need one another. Please join us.